Say Something
by AndreeaRaducan
Summary: Post 200. Will has a hard time handling JJ when she's at her worst. Rated T for dark themes. **Winner of Best Characterization of Jennifer Jareau in the 2014 Profiler's Choice Awards**
1. Prologue

**A/N: You know guys, I am so sorry about falling off the face of the earth in October. I climbed back on after many adventures in space and I am back with new ideas and fresh inspiration.**

**Ok obviously I didn't have amazing space adventures. What I did have was a crazy couple of months and a mind so consumed with writing for my two fics that sadly cannot be uploaded as they are about real people, that I just forgot about the world of CM. But then CM started up again and I got back into the JJ mindset and here I am.**

**200 is kinda on my mind, so I'm gonna get that out of my system first before returning to my old fics. I PROMISE I am going to update very soon. I have another month before uni starts so if I can back into the right mindset, watch out, updates galore.**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of it's characters and affiliations. I am simply giving the characters some hell before returning them to their rightful owners.**

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><p><em>~Say something, I'm giving up on you~<br>~I'll be the one if you want me to~_

He had seen post traumatic stress disorder in the flesh after Hurricane Katrina. But he had never been presented with a case quite as awful as the one he currently had on his hands.

After Katrina, he had known it would be hard. Difficult. Challenging. Not only managing his own PTSD but seemingly the entire city of New Orleans as well.

What no-one had ever told him was that handling someone who suffered from severe post traumatic stress disorder was damn near impossible.

William LaMontagne Jr. was at his wits end, but he knew he had to keep it together if only to preserve what was left of his wife's sanity. What made that so much harder was he had no idea how much longer he could keep it up for.

Because while Jennifer Jareau was one tough nut to crack, she was even more impossible to piece back together once she'd been broken.

_~Anywhere, I would've followed you~  
>~Say something, I'm giving up on you~<em>


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know what you're thinking. "She disappears for three months and might as well be dead and then suddenly two updates in one day?"**

**I'm into this story and I want to finish it before I hate the song because I'm listening to it on repeat while typing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. Just being a little sadist and handing their characters over when I'm satisfied.**

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><p><em>~And I...am feeling so small~<br>~It was over my head...I know nothing at all~_

The first week home had been the worst.

At least when she was in the hospital, she had been under the effect of a myriad of drugs if she wasn't in a sedative induced slumber. She had seemed perfectly fine, if not a little troubled, and that had given Will the false hope that everything was going to be ok.

God, he had never been so wrong in his life.

When they had arrived home, he had noticed the subtle glances, how she judged the distance between herself and the nearest exit, how even when she was playing with Henry, she barely smiled, and when she did, it never reached her eyes.

She had barely touched her food. All she consumed was half a glass of water before retreating to the bathroom and sitting under the warm shower stream for nearly forty five minutes before Will gently coaxed her out.

Not even two hours after settling in for the night, she had woken up screaming, startling Will out of his own dreams. He had grabbed her shoulders, trying to calm her down, but that had scared her even more. She had pushed him away, desperately trying to get away from him as she fell from the top of the bed to the floor and curled up in a ball against the wall. She had stayed rigid, her eyes wide and filled with fear as she tried to break free of the nightmares that were holding her in their clutches.

"JJ," he had gasped, his chest tightening as he realised he was in for one hell of a ride. "Say something"

Not a single word passed those lips.

It was sunrise before she passed out from sheer exhaustion, lying on the carpet with her back pressed up against the skirting board.

As much as Will wanted to move her into the bed, he didn't want to know what would happen if he touched her while she slept. He had reluctantly left her there, covering her with a blanket as he tended to their son.

Two nights later, she had fallen asleep on the couch while they were watching an old movie.

He had moved away to rinse his coffee mug; he had refused to give her anything with caffeine in it on the grounds that she was wired enough as it was. In the five seconds it took for him to walk the distance between the couch and the kitchen sink, she was awake, screaming in horror as she clawed at the nearest wall, convinced she was still trapped in the hellhole where she had been bound, gagged, and tortured.

Tears streaming down her face, she had stumbled down the hallway, throwing open the back door and staggering into the garden, needing the fresh air in her lungs to remind her that she was alive and safe. She had promptly thrown up the contents of her stomach and then collapsed on the grass a few feet away, despite it being freezing cold.

When Will had seen her like that, lying lifeless in the backyard, staring up at the darkened sky, his heart had skipped a beat. He had been unable to get a response out of her and he didn't want to touch her in case he sent her flying into another panic.

Once again, all he could do was wrap her in a blanket and sit by her side until she came to her senses.

He had actually had tears in his eyes as he whispered those same words he had gasped on the first night.

"Say something"

_~And I...will stumble and fall~  
>~I'm still learning to love...just starting to crawl~<em>


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, I churned this one out pretty quickly. I promise I love JJ with all my heart. I hope her reaction isn't this severe on the show, but I need to get this out of my system.**

**Also, this is a different writing style for me, and I'm really pleased with how it's turning out.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or its characters or affiliates. I literally just emotionally scar them for life and then hand them back and skip off through a field of daisies.**

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><p><em>~Say something, I'm giving up on you~<br>~I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you~_

Twenty one days.

She had been out of hospital for twenty one days.

After the incident in the backyard, she used the grassy patch behind the house as her escape. Whenever she felt trapped, she would go outside and lie there, looking up at the clouds or the stars.

The first few times she had done it, Will had had no idea where she had gone, and had gone flying into a panic, worried that she had worked herself into a state and promptly disappeared on him.

It was March first when everything had seemed to come undone.

He had been ripped from his slumber by the screams that he had become accustomed to. But what he had found when he turned to face her had been so much worse than any of the nights when she had passed out from exhaustion on the floor.

She had been curled up on her side, her hands clasped tightly against her chest, her white knuckles gleaming. Her chest was heaving, but she hadn't seemed to be getting enough air into her lungs, which had been evident by the bluish hue of her lips. Her face had been the colour of the snow that had only started to melt a few weeks earlier.

She had had an honest to God panic attack.

He had so desperately wanted to help her, but he couldn't touch her. He had so desperately wanted a response from her, but she could barely breathe let alone speak.

He had yelled.

"Say something! Say something, say something, say SOMETHING!" he had cried, trying not to completely lose it with her. He knew it needed time and patience. He felt short on both.

He had done the only thing he knew he could.

He had dialled 911.

Whatever the operator had said to him was a blur. The paramedics had seemed to appear out of thin air. They pushed him aside, their medical expertise and calm voices softening the atmosphere in the room.

Within seconds, they had administered a sedative, rendering JJ completely limp as she fell into a drug induced sleep.

They had lifted her onto the gurney, breathing for her through that awful bag.

It had been as they took her out to the ambulance that Will had snapped. He was mad at the men who had hurt her, who had so badly broken his beautiful wife. In that moment, it had felt as though he would never get back the woman he had fallen in love with.

So he had punched a hole in the bedroom door.

_~Anywhere, I would've followed you~  
>~Say something, I'm giving up on you~<em>


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Nothing to report. One more chapter to go! (It's an unusually short song)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or the characters or the affiliates...blah blah blah blah, yep ok, here we go.**

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><p><em>~And I...will swallow my pride~<br>~You're the one that I love...and I'm saying goodbye~_

Her progress was slow, but in his eyes, at least it was _there_.

When things got too much, she retreated to the shower floor, huddled in a ball under the hot water. If it was a really bad day, she remained fully clothed, her wet hair and clothes clinging to her skin when Will was finally able to get her out.

He'd known she had made progress. In the days that had passed, she had been more engaged when she was playing with Henry. She had been speaking more, especially with Will, who had been trying his hardest to help her and not harm her further.

He had awoken one morning after a rare full night's sleep. The bed beside him was cold and empty. He had sat up in a panic, not knowing where she might have wandered off to.

Until he looked down.

She had been curled up in a ball at the end of the bed, fast asleep and buried under the linen. When he had pulled the sheets back, she hadn't looked afraid or fitful.

As broken as she was, he had had to smile. For once, she had looked peaceful.

He had taken her pillow from beside him and slipped it underneath her head. Before leaving the room to see if Henry had awoken, he had leant down and pressed the gentlest of kisses to her temple.

And for once, the tender touch didn't make her flinch.

_~Say something, I'm giving up on you~  
>~And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you~<em>


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Who knew I could finish a story in like...six hours.**

**It's to make up for leaving you so long. Once again, I'm sorry and I love you all.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters or affiliates. Although I like to think I do because I'm a freaking kleptomaniac.**

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><p><em>~And anywhere I would've followed you~<br>~Say something, I'm giving up on you~_

It took months.

But slowly she started to come back. The nightmares were less frequent. Her smile started to reach her eyes again.

It had been a hell of an experience for them both. But it wasn't over.

It wasn't uncommon for Will to be woken by JJ in the throes of another nightmare, or discover her huddled in the bottom of the shower or sprawled on the grass in the backyard.

But she was getting better.

It took nearly three months before she finally broke down in Will's arms, able to let him hold her and comfort her as everything she'd held so tightly to came pouring out in a teary mess of emotion. She had never flinched at the contact, instead able to stay in his arms for almost three hours after so openly baring her heart and soul.

The next morning, he had found her at the bottom of the shower again. But it didn't matter. She'd cried. She'd screamed. She'd yelled. She wasn't so broken anymore. He hadn't had to gently coax her out in an unthreatening manner. All he'd had to do was call her name.

It was a week after she had finally returned to the BAU that he got one more sign that she was truly coming back to them.

He had seen her standing in the middle of the kitchen, hugging herself and staring at the floor.

He had walked over and ever so gently tipped her chin up with the end of his finger.

"Say something," he had said softly, his voice gentle and reassuring as his hands came to rest on her upper arms, a gentle touch that had become a comfort to her.

The gentle smile that had crossed her face reached her blue eyes, the walls of fear and horror that had been there just months earlier now almost completely broken down.

"I love you"

_~Say something, I'm giving up on you~  
>~Say something...~<em>


End file.
